NotArrogant.com - Are You Chasing Dreams That You Don't Really Want? (Hint: You Might Be)

Are You Chasing Dreams That You Don't Really Want? (Hint: You Might Be)

Written by John Rozewicki

Tuesday, 25 April 2006

Discovering and Chasing Your Dreams

There's a lot of discussion about discovering yourself and finding a path for your life in our society. It's especially prevalent in people around my age. We're told that you should try new things all the time so that you may better understand what you want to do with the rest of your life. What if we already know what we want to do before we ever start thinking about a career? What if the experimentation serves only to confuse us and make us doubt? While I'm sure there are many people who legitimately don't know what they want to do, I have found that many more people already knew.

Guitars and Self-Esteem

We're told constantly to broaden our horizons and try new things. When I was 15 I decided I wanted to play the guitar. I had some money burning a hole in my pocket, and one of my friends was really into playing. I thought about it for a while and constructed elaborate fantasies where I would become a musician. By extension I would gain fame, fortune, happiness, women, etc. So I bought my guitar. It was a used Crate in good condition, not too expensive, with an unfortunate Playboy bunny sticker adorning the front (a gift from the previous owner). I took it home, put some new strings on it, pulled out a pick and discovered that playing was damn hard.

The Mistake/``I hate practicing"

My fantasies hadn't involved practicing at all. I never thought I would be bad at it. I just wanted to be able to play. I wanted to have the skill. After making this mistake of buying a guitar I would never play, I sat down and thought about why I really wanted a guitar. I should have thought about it before, but I didn't. I didn't like playing the guitar. It hurt my hands. I got depressed when I found that I wasn't very good. I hated practicing, and I was never very inclined at writing music. I shouldn't have bought the guitar, and now it sits in my closet as a reminder. The lesson I was taught with this incident was two-fold. First, very simply, the guitar is not for me. Second, more important and elaborate, I must think deeply before I act. I must discover what I actually want to do in a very concrete way and then evaluate whether or not my proposed method will meet the need. Really, at 15, I just wanted to feel better and be considered worthwhile as a person. A guitar I didn't really like playing nor want to play probably wasn't the best option.

You've Probably Already Discovered Your Dream

A few years later I discovered the things I really wanted to do. I wanted to produce films, write, and learn Japanese. I can remember being enthralled with cinema at a very young age while Japanese was discovered a little later. I remember liking writing in high school because I was told I was good at it. The dreams I have now are the same dreams I've always had. They're more concrete, but looking back on them I can see how inevitable it was to be where I am now. So maybe instead of trying new things randomly, such as the guitar, we should be thinking about how to make the things we already do work for us in our lives. This is, I think, one of the smart things I've done that I don't really see other people doing. It sounds simple, but I still see people in every one of my classes chasing dreams of things that they don't really want. There are video production students who say they want to direct, but don't actually like editing, shooting, lighting, or even giving people direction. I've met other Japanese majors whose only interests in the language are anime series they watch. I can tell by the way they study that they're not really all that interested in actually using the language. It's unfortunate because they're going to be unhappy. They may both achieve their goal but they will hate every moment of it. Insight, perspective, and introspection are the 3 virtues that I hold most sacred. Put simply, think before you act, especially if 'act' consists of the rest of your life. You might already be doing the things you really want do. In fact, you probably are. The catch-22 is that if it's something you want to do then there should be little reason why you're not already doing it. Most people tend to do the things they want to do at first opportunity. So stop chasing the things you only think you want to do, and focus on making what you're already doing profitable.

The Difficult Questions

Of course this is only one way of looking at it. This article is only in response to a line of philosophical questions which I've tried to answer. The questions are these: 1. If you say you really like Z then why aren't you already doing it? 2. If you're not doing Z then can you say you like it more than things you're already doing? 3. Will Z definitely bring you closer to your end goal(your dream)? 4. Should you start new things, or focus energy on things you're doing already? Is there a way to rationalize these statements in a different way? Update: After looking around I've found that Steve Pavlina's recent article is a fantastic companion to this one. I've also clarified my list of questions by adding another.

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