My Favorite Religion
Written by John Rozewicki   
Tuesday, 08 August 2006

Religous Jealousy

I grew up as a Catholic. I went to a private Catholic school for 4 years in grade school. I've been to numerous church services and functions. Unfortunately, I've never believed in the one singular anthropomorphic god that is so popular as of late. Sure I have personal spirituality, but I am unable to buy into any of the organized religions. I don't hold anything inherently against them. I admire their ability to believe so easily. I imagine that having the answers to the fundamental questions in the universe must be the most secure and protected feeling you could ever have. But like I said, I'm an atheist. The part of my brain responsible for believing we're all just puppets being controlled in this magical fairy tale called the universe is not functioning properly. My being an atheist doesn't stop me from having a religious preference. I shop around for religions like many people would sports teams or indoor carpeting. I weigh all the options and I've made my decision finally; Judaism.

Why Judaism?

Judaism is the original monotheistic religion of persecuted peoples, and I'm a sucker for purity. They have their own language which is essentially a secret handshake; Hebrew. Sure the Catholics have Latin, but Hebrew has been dead longer. That sort of thing is very very important to me. Judaism has beautiful and elaborate insults involving peoples' heads growing in the ground as onions and teeth growing in as hair. Their sabbath is on Saturday which means I wouldn't miss very much, if any, of the football season provided that I actually had an interest in sporting events. They follow the rules to the letter. They don't arbitrarily group the commandments into different categories to be misunderstood and rewritten. Each line is a rule to be followed. You have to admire that dedication. All in all it's a very sensible religion. Finally, I have Jewish heritage. I could probably join up and be counted if I wanted to. Nothing beats actually being able to join the club you're a fan of.

Religion Battle Royale

The pros and cons of each religion can and should be weighed out. Everybody should have a favorite religion just as they do a favorite sports team. There would be some accountability and credibility among the religions. They're already pitted against each other in the middle east. Shouldn't we maybe try to do it in a more peaceful way; throw them all on Survivor? Most religions are pretty absurd. The most absurd, by far, being scientology. Having a favorite one just sort of stacks absurdity on absurdity to prove the point that it doesn't really matter. We're all people, and we all have to set some differences aside in order to peacefully interact with people in the world.

Something to Be Set Aside

I have to do a little soul searching as it is when I find out someone's a fan of something I consider to be schlocky crap. I can't imagine the soul searching I'd have to do if someone believed something that was not only different from my core belief structure, but specifically at odds with it in many cases. We should set aside religious preference just as we do musical preferences. The net affect is the same. None of it really matters. It's not real. It's words in some books somewhere. You can be a fan of a religion just as you can be a fan of any other piece of art. Let's all just treat it that way instead of treating it like any of it actually means something to anyone but the people practicing it.
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