Saved!; My So-Called Religious Satire
Written by John Rozewicki   
Saturday, 03 June 2006
Originally Written: 2004-11-13 11:42:00

A Horrible Joke

Saved! is a terrible movie and I've had about an ass full of it. When my friend told me the cast and then said, "We should see this." I thought he was screwing with me. It has quite possibly the most eclectic cast ever conceived with McCaulay Culkin(Dropped off the face of the earth until now), Mandy Moore(w-hat?), Heather Matarazzo(Welcome to the Dollhouse), and, to top it off, exec. producer Michael Stipe. It sounds like someone is screwing with you, does it not?

Wasted Potential

This movie is a classic example of writers paying attention more to where they want the story to go, to prove their point, than where the story wants to go. Saved! has lots of potential in its smaller characters. McCaulay Culkin pulls off an awesome performance. He rocks that wheelchair, and he's the most sincere character in the movie. You know who he is and what he's about at the beginning, and he delivers it throughout. The story of him hooking up with the "bad girl" in school is entertaining moreso than the overall arc of the movie. This is the main problem with the movie. It has these really good side stories that develop, but for some reason they also force the overall story arc of teen pregnancy and religious satire on top it.

Unrealism

The movie tends to be too unrealistic. The most annoying example of this is the love interest of the main character. He's quite possibly the most perfect man ever created. He's clairvoyant. He goes after her at the beginning of the school year, and then gets forcefully shot down by her twice. He's still extremely nice to her, and somehow he knows she's pregnant when no one else in school does. He still knows, though, that she wants him. Somehow.

Terrible Plotting

He's still in to her at the end of the year and waits until then to be with her. He makes the wise decision of starting the relationship right after she pumps out a kid and it's bad times. His character doesn't make any sense. We could get rid of the overall arc of the movie, and no one would really care. I saw the movie twice, and for some reason I forgot about the main storyline between watchings. I watched the movie once, and then a month went by and I watched it again. It got to the pregnancy part and was confused why I couldn't remember it, and then all the bad parts of the movie came flooding back.

Over The Big-Top

Mandy Moore is annoyingly over-the-top throughout the movie, although I don't think it's her fault. Most of the comedy is the funny-stupid variety rather than funny thoughtful variety. I think there is inherent comedy in the movie, but for some reason they retrofit jokes on to the movie over all of this and it feels over-the-top. Over-the-top is the motto of this movie.

The Problem

Instead of staying with what's entertaining it foists tired religious satire on the audience. This just in, religion and most of the things in the Bible are unreasonable from modern day points of view. I am shocked. Thank you for telling me this. This movie exists more for those doing the making than the watching. People love this movie and want to believe it's good, because they think it has something new to say about organized religion. It doesn't. The content sucks and the ideas are tired.
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